If you are thinking about doing Adderall for fun – please read.
I am a 62 year old grandmother and have been addicted for at least 10 years.
Before that, I was addicted to painkillers.
I was able to go to an outpatient clinic to get off of the painkillers, but then switched over to Adderall. I got thrown out of the clinic because of it.
I started out doing 60 milligrams a day, but within 3 years, zoomed up to approx. 200 mg a day and have remained there for the past 7 years.
It is the biggest regret of my life !!
For starters, no one cares – for 2 reasons:
(A) Because of my age, people feel that I am towards the end of my life anyway, and,
(B) People feel that because of my age, I should have known better.
I couldn’t agree more.
I mean, after all, our youth is our future.
I blame nobody but myself, and now I have to live with the fact that I will never live a happy normal life again.
There is no help for me.
I have been self-employed for the past 30 years. Being so I have to pay for my own medical insurance, but don’t have the money.
Oh, by the way, did I tell you that my habit costs approximately $250.00 to $300.00 a week?
Figure it out, multiply that by the month and then the number of years that I’ve been addicted.
And speaking of the word ‘addicted’, I was told by 2 doctors when I first got started that Adderall was not addicting.
They said that you can grow to be dependent on it, but not get addicted.
Is there really a difference?
Getting back to what I started saying about insurance… I have no insurance, so I can’t get into any rehabs.
I can’t get medical through the state, because I make too much money to be eligible.
Of course, they don’t know what I do with half of it.
I’ve tried stopping on my own, but I get so weak I can’t even stand up.
I have to get up and go to work everyday, as I am divorced and I have to support myself.
I also get extremely depressed.
Depression after my divorce, along with the deaths of my father and my sister, is what got me started on drugs to begin with. I was around 43 or so.
Depression is something else that no one seems to understand or care about.
People think you should be able to just snap out of it…NOT !
Antidepressants never worked for me, and I have tried just about all of them.
Let me tell you how drugs have changed my life: I have gone from a fun loving high spirited person with a ton of friends to being extremely lonely with no close friends at all.
I lost all of my friends, and I don’t even try to make new ones.
I have no one to talk to, and it’s a really lonely place to be. Occasionally, I feel like I’d be better off in an assisted living facility (check it out for more info). It’s just that I feel a little sad when I realize I am all alone.
I have 5 adult kids. When they were growing up, we were close and had a lot of good times. At least I have the memories. Now, my relationship is strained with all 5 of them.
A couple of them have addiction problems of their own, and we can’t help each other if we can’t help ourselves.
The other ones are, I guess, just really disgusted with me.
I am also always on edge and grouchy. I have become very quick-tempered, whereas before I always had alot of patience and was very happy go lucky.
My energy level is extremely low, and so I lay around when I am not working and do a whole lot of nothing.
I might also add that after being on pills for all these years, they do next to nothing for me.
I only take them to keep from going through withdrawal.
Can you imagine spending $1,200.00 a month on pills just to keep from going through withdrawal?
I also have 7 grandchidren.
I had always pictured myself as being a great grandmother, but think again. I never seem to have the energy to do things with them, and even though I love them more then anything in the world, I just don’t have the patience.
So to end this long story:
Please I am begging you, DON”T DO DRUGS ! ! ! Don’t even try them!
What everyone says (your parents, your teachers, your minister, your peers, and especially people who have been there) say is the truth.
Do not think that you will be different, because drugs don’t care what color you are, what religion you are, where you come from, or how rich or poor you are. It treats everyone the same !
Please remember my story.
My life has already ended because of drugs, at the age of 62.
Don’t let this happen to you. Value yourself which I never really did.
– Carrie from DE
(If I have helped just one person or have made just one person stop and think it will have been worth it)