It’s 1:39am and I can’t sleep.
I’ve been off of Adderall for almost a week.
Last I took it was Monday, around lunch.
It’s now the following Monday, at 1:39am.
This past week, actually, has not been that bad.
The only issues I’ve been having are getting stressed over stupid things, slight moodiness and slight sleep problems.
In this past week, I’ve actually become closer with my family, which I’m really happy about.
I did get into an argument with my friend, but I don’t think that’s related to the Adderall – he’s upset because he thinks I duked him, and between me and y’all, I did!
But I duked him into spending time with me and not in a bar, so it was a duke for the better.
But overall, this website makes it sound much worse then it really is.
I was on a high dose, too – 60mg a day on average. I took it rec. orally.
So yeah, overall, it’s really not that bad.
Maybe I’m not as smart or as interesting, but I feel much more grounded, less anxious, far less neurotic, and much more me.
I guess the real test will be tomorrow, when I’m able to get more…
Posts by Adderall Addiction Support:
Finding this site and reading the stories of others I FINALLY feel I’m not alone.
I’ve tried to find other sites but they really didn’t hit the nail on the head as the stories I’ve read here.
I was put on Adderall at age 12… it.CHANGED MY LIFE for the better.
I was finally able to pay attention.
My mom says I came home one day and said, “it’s finally like someone turned on the light”.
That’s exactly how it was.
I took it off and on through school and even into senior year.
Never abused it, and honestly I never even heard of people abusing it!
My name is Mandy, and I am an addict.
I grew up in a very, very dysfunctional family.
The trauma inflicted upon me and my sister has caused a wide variety of mental illnesses and drug abuse.
My mom has become a monster. I don’t even think she is herself, anymore.
I have my own place, but I thought I would go and visit my mom.
She had about 10 or 15 Adderall on her. I did two with her, but what happened next was completely unbelievable.
Adderall possessed my mom like a demon from the depths of hell!
She became extremely violent.
I have always had an under lying eating disorder that started when I hit puberty.
I remember meticulously counting calories (at 12 like wth!?) and then exercising the exact amount of calories I took in so I would never gain weight.
This happened because I was constantly picked on the year before for being chubby or fat, and I wanted to change that.
Looking back, as a child, it was the only thing I felt I had control over.
Growing up, I swore I’d never end up like my dad: hooked up methamphetamine and homeless.
I remember my first year of college: I earned all A’s and B’s, without ever hearing of Adderall.
It wasn’t until I met my friend, who was majoring in premed and had all A’s.
One day, while studying, I complained to him that I couldn’t focus, and he handed me this white pill with blue specks.
He said, “just take it.”
Well I currently take Vyvanse, and I have been for about 3/4 years now.
I take it the correct way, but I’ve watched my mom struggle with her addiction my whole life – she is prescribed Adderall, because she has, “ADD and a sleeping disorder”.
She has been prescribed this since she was 10, so her tolerance is incredibly high.
When I was younger, I’d watch my father binge and be legitimately scared of me and my siblings… he thought we’d eat him!
Well, I’ve decided to write this while I’m withdrawing from Adderall, because I should be doing my homework right now.
But I’m so distracted that I stumbled upon this website.
After hearing other people’s stories, I know mine isn’t nearly as bad.
But just to get the brain flowing, I’d thought I share a quick tale of my journey with this amazing/horrid drug.
“It’s been 4 straight years of either severe depression or absolutely no emotions whatsoever.” – Dawn
Adderall is by far the worst thing ever invented.
My entire life has changed so negatively,
I know deep down I can not go back to feeling real, or happy, really truly caring for anything or anyone.
I need to find someone to publish a book that I must write, so thousands of people do not end up like me and so many others.
It’s been 4 straight years of either severe depression or absolutely no emotions what so ever.
I’m a pretty girl, but gave up on looking good. It’s too much effort, and I don’t want to leave my house, anyway.
I want to stay home and pop ADDERALL and smoke cigarettes, alone.
I can’t last more than a couple minutes with someone, whom I can hang w/ for hours, without thinking in my head how bad I wanted to go home. I used to get very upset when a day would go by with one single call or text. Now, I expect it.
It hits me every once in awhile and U realize how TRULY alone I really am. I don’t talk with my family and my huge list of social friends, is down to 1 or 2, if that.
I know what I need to do…but I just don’t, and don’t care…
I feel bad, but it’d like I have heart of stone now. ..I don’t care.
I’m divorced, didn’t love him, started taking Adderall during the divorce in 2010.
My life hit rock bottom 2015.
More to come.
This whole thing is really kind of funny.
See, today should be my first day off of Adderall, but the thought of quitting sent me into a manic rage that kept both my girlfriend and I up until after 3 AM, and I had to wake up to work in the morning at 8:15 AM.
Every single thing that has ever bothered you becomes torturous to be around.
I am the mother of an Adderall addict.
She does not like it for me to say/think that.
But I am watching her destroy herself.
She has a psychiatrist that she seems to convince to give her whatever. She also takes xanax, clonopin and cymbalta. Maybe more.
I cannot seem to influence her at all, to see that this can be a problem.
I’ve been off Adderall for over 6 weeks.
I used the drug for almost 20 years.
I started because of severe depression that could not be helped… felt I could feel better.
It did work. It worked great.
I did all my chores, went to work and stayed up as late as I wanted. It made me feel more confident, more friendly, and it let me live life again.
Well, it worked great – until it didn’t .
I started taking Ritalin around 2000.
I liked it, but I did not abuse it.
When it stopped working, I simply stopped it. No problem.
A few years later, I was prescribed Adderall.
Same thing. Once it stopped helping, I stopped it. No problem.
I went back and forth for years, mostly without it.
I wasn’t addicted to it, and found it useless after awhile. Stopped it.
It wasn’t until 2007, that I developed an addiction to Adderall.
I’ve been addicted to Adderall since I was prescribed it at the age of 14.
I’m now 27…
I wouldn’t know where to begin telling my story, it’s long and sad and selfish and super strange as most peoples’ are..
But it’s also still not over.. And I’m not sure it’ll be a happy ending.
Not to get all depressing or anything, but Adderall most likely killing me is something I’ve come to accept.
I never thought it would get this bad, but I guess that’s kinda how addiction works, one day i just stopped caring…
I’ve had ADHD my entire life. I am now 55, and 4 years ago I learned about Adderall as a treatment for my symptoms which had gotten more noticeable with age.
I began taking 10mg of Adderall and thought my life would be forever changed for the better.
I could think again… I had energy, I was happy, I could think and follow through on tasks and I even felt hope.
This was HUGE after a life of frustration trying to stick out desk jobs or jobs that I really wanted but could not succeed at due to lack of follow through.
Within two months, the dose went up to 15mg, and within 4 months, I was “chasing” the high.
“My brother is killing himself with Adderall, and we are pretending like everything is all good.” – Sister2anaddict
My story here is a little different, but I need to vent.
I’ve never taken Adderall, but it scares the living shit out of me because I’ve watched my brother battle this horrific addiction for 10 years – on top of an alcohol addiction.
I knew he had a problem long before anyone knew he had a problem. They didn’t see what I saw.
Yet, I was the mean one, I was a tattle-tail, I was jealous when I tried for years to warn my parents of his problem. They ignored me! For SO LONG!
I tried…. for so so long!
See, when you grow up a certain type of way, these things tend to get swept under the rug because of a certain image people try to maintain.
A child with an addiction would have been an embarrassment. I was told to leave him alone.
Yet, here we are down this road.
Truth of the matter is, I do not know this person whom I speak of, anymore.
Where do I start?
I live month-to-month, waiting for that 30 day mark where I can get a refill.
I run out of Adderall within the first 1-2 weeks, despite getting 1200 mg/month.
I spend that time with little to no sleep and lose complete track of how much I consume.
I’d love to tell you all about my “one-time-experience” with the prescription drug Adderall.
The fact of the matter is that my first time was only just the beginning to the addiction I suffer from today.
The memory I have is nothing more than the palm of a friend’s hand, reaching out to me. There it was; the orange, oval-shaped pill that started it all.
I accepted and chewed the gross, candy-flavored(ish) Adderall down until it was nothing.
About thirty minutes had passed when I noticed the difference in my thinking. The obsession of every little thought was no longer a problem.
It was like my mind went from a mess of loose papers, to being organized and stored away in a file cabinet.
“Addicted to Adderall, she threatened ‘suicide by cop’. In April, she made good on that promise.” – jonah16
I wish my story was encouraging, but it is not.
My best friend of fifty years became highly addicted to Adderall.
I started taking Concerta in 1996. I was 6 years old at the time.
My mom left the state and left me in my grandmother’s care.
The school said I wasn’t focusing & I wasn’t talking, and this would help.
If they actually cared and worked with me, they would have discovered the real problem was PTSD. Caused by countless rape and sexual abuse by a family member.
But it was easier to just drug me up.
I was 15 years old, almost 16.
I had never taken Adderall in my life, and one day someone offered it to me.
10mg IR, down the hatch.
I didn’t feel anything and I was honestly disappointed.
The next day… Here comes my friend who gave me the first pill.