Well, I’ve decided to write this while I’m withdrawing from Adderall, because I should be doing my homework right now.
But I’m so distracted that I stumbled upon this website.
After hearing other people’s stories, I know mine isn’t nearly as bad.
But just to get the brain flowing, I’d thought I share a quick tale of my journey with this amazing/horrid drug.
The story begins when I used Adderall occasionally through high school; I loved the drug, hated the come down, couldn’t find enough to keep going.
Then college came, and everybody had it, so I thought maybe I should try and get prescribed.
What a joke, it is incredibly easy to get prescribed Adderall.
Hell, I even took the PIT (multi-million dollar test) with BS answers and the psychiatrist literally handed me my script–6 hours later haha.
So I got prescribed freshman year, taking two 10 mg instants for about 6 months.
ENDED taking 2 20mg instants and 1 30 XR a day. <—how is that legal to prescribe? oh, I know why, because it’s my life and I told my doctors that’s how much I need to keep going.
I’d finish that all in a week, maybe two if I was feeling conservative.
Then, I got a new doctor and my addictive personality kicked in. But, I found a good use for taking Adderall and feeling like I’m doing something productive: I learned guitar.
Boy, I should have never done that, because for the next 3 years I played guitar 12 hours a day.
And now I look like I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but really since I was 18 and I am 23 now. Pretty dope, but fellas girls don’t care at all if your some loner who plays guitar all day and night.
Actually, since I started taking this much Adderall, my love life consists of pets that are reptiles so they intrinsically hate humans, and as you’ll read a dog that loves me but no girls. Nope, but I don’t have time for them anyways. SOOOO, not too butt hurt.
Anyways, I used Adderall for school too. I go to ASU, btw. And have yet to ever actually “do” college on Adderall.
But let me tell you why I am going on my second week without it: I don’t need it. I know I don’t need it. And if you feel like you don’t need it–you really, truly don’t.
A pitbull walked into my life two weeks ago, from a family that couldn’t take care of him anymore and was about to bring him to the pound, where he would surely be put down. I’m getting clean for him, because if I don’t sleep, he won’t sleep.
Again, I’m literally going through cold sweats, heat flashes, anxiety, the whole shebang right now and that is why this story is choppy and not nearly as good as it would be had I taken my usually 120 mg dosage of AdderaLl.
Since this is now the longest thing I’ve written not on Adderall, I feel pretty good.
Moral of the story: if you’re hooked on Adderall, get a dog. I have snakes and lizards too, but they have not changed my world like this little guy has.
If you feel like you have nothing to live for, and that is why you take Adderall, find a dog that loves to be alive (they all do) and let him shed a little light in your hermit shell. And you’ll find your purpose.
I really wish I could articulate my thoughts better, but I can’t. In fact, I’ve completely lost interest in writing this entirely.
I hate Adderall.
Reading all these stories makes me resent it more.
I’m glad I started taking Adderall when I was 18, rather than 12.
I am mad that I got addicted. Heart-break (which I didn’t even feel like writing about) does that to us humans.
I want my autonomy back.
I picked a really bad time to try and get it back–studying for the LSAT, graduating in two months, taking 21 credit hours.
I want to see what I’m made of, I want to make my family proud and prove that I didn’t need anything but a wake up call and a canine.
So, this may feel like a very very boring story, but I just had to write something sober. Broken thoughts and all.
You know what, though?
The very best part: I can fall asleep after this.
I won’t pop another pill, play guitar for four days without sleeping, write a couple songs about some girl who has already completely moved on (I broke up with her for the record, yeah Adderall is one hell of a drug), and smoke a lot of weed.
Nope, I’m gonna procrastinate some more, wrestle with my dog, smoke some buds, watch the news, and go to bed.
Wake up tomorrow one step closer to feeling like I did when I was in high school; before the curse of amphetamines.
OH and btw, ADD is made up, Look up the doctor who invented it, and you’ll find on his death bed admitting he only conjured the disease for Big Pharmas.
If Adderall helps you, you probably won’t be on this website.
If have you been abusing the drug, like me, go rescue an animal. Appreciate this life.
I know when I was high on speed, it went by so fast I couldn’t.
PEACE & LOVE & CHAOS