“I believe that the Adderall is going to blow my heart out” – Carolanne

I am 64 years old and have been addicted to Adderall for many many years. When my son was in kindergarten, he displayed behavioral symptoms for which his teachers were concerned.

I took him to the doctor, and they told me that he had ADHD and gave him Adderall immediately. I did my research because my son hated taking it, and the medical establishment said that it was inherited and that I too, had ADHD. I loved the effect!

My house was polished perfectly, I had the energy to be a super mom, and it made me bright and cheerful. I just did the math, and I have been taking some stimulant for 34 years. I keep coming back to Adderall because it gives me the most “bang for my buck.”

I now am up to 60 MG’s per day, and I am scared of my addiction (I am also taking a 1 MG dose of clonazepam) which I know from experience is also addictive, but first things first.

freaking out on adderall addiction supportI believe that the Adderall is going to blow my heart out, and the doctor and the pharmacist treat me like an addict and give me a 28 day RX, written for three months at a time, with a doctor exam before my next three-month refill.

They treat me like an addict because I am one.Today my beloved partner and I had the discussion about the truth of my addiction, and how I can best slowly withdraw and give my body some relief.

One of the reasons that I love this drug is the temporary feelings of power, energy, and ability to think clearly. In truth, that is a lie.

I am not sure how to safely do this, and I have never been in an online support group, but I am scared, yet strangely ready, willing and motivated to live life without a false sense of knowing that the only way I am coping with life is by popping my Adderall.

Any help, suggestions, encouragement and ways to make this journey less unbearable would be greatly appreciated. Just being honest and sharing this is huge, because I am a secret “Betty Crocker” appearing chick with a serious problem!

Thank you for hearing me.