I am 64 years old and have been addicted to Adderall for many many years. When my son was in kindergarten, he displayed behavioral symptoms for which his teachers were concerned.
I took him to the doctor, and they told me that he had ADHD and gave him Adderall immediately. I did my research because my son hated taking it, and the medical establishment said that it was inherited and that I too, had ADHD. I loved the effect!
My house was polished perfectly, I had the energy to be a super mom, and it made me bright and cheerful. I just did the math, and I have been taking some stimulant for 34 years. I keep coming back to Adderall because it gives me the most “bang for my buck.”
I now am up to 60 MG’s per day, and I am scared of my addiction (I am also taking a 1 MG dose of clonazepam) which I know from experience is also addictive, but first things first.
I believe that the Adderall is going to blow my heart out, and the doctor and the pharmacist treat me like an addict and give me a 28 day RX, written for three months at a time, with a doctor exam before my next three-month refill.
They treat me like an addict because I am one.Today my beloved partner and I had the discussion about the truth of my addiction, and how I can best slowly withdraw and give my body some relief.
One of the reasons that I love this drug is the temporary feelings of power, energy, and ability to think clearly. In truth, that is a lie.
I am not sure how to safely do this, and I have never been in an online support group, but I am scared, yet strangely ready, willing and motivated to live life without a false sense of knowing that the only way I am coping with life is by popping my Adderall.
Any help, suggestions, encouragement and ways to make this journey less unbearable would be greatly appreciated. Just being honest and sharing this is huge, because I am a secret “Betty Crocker” appearing chick with a serious problem!
Thank you for hearing me.
addicted to adderall
I’m currently taking Adderall. It’s been well over a year, now.
Somehow, my life started to revolve around taking it.
Taking too much, then running out, then withdrawing, then starting the whole cycle all over again, as soon as my script came in.
It’s taken over my whole life.
I first started taking Adderall 2 years ago, fresh into college.
I’ll never forget that first pill – how invincible I felt!
For years, I had a monster drink every morning and sometimes more during the day… and I stopped almost immediately after I got a prescription.
I have ADD/ADHD, but my parent didn’t want me growing up on drugs.
I wanted a “cure”, and my answer was just a pill – and my grades shot up, I kicked ass at my job and talking to people was incredibly easy.
Aside from getting used to some of the small side effects, like not eating or this weird feeling of free falling (first month or two on the pill), I felt unstoppable.
Now I am socially awkward or just weird, i guess, because I’m always high.
If you are thinking about doing Adderall for fun – please read.
I am a 62 year old grandmother and have been addicted for at least 10 years.
Before that, I was addicted to painkillers.
I was able to go to an outpatient clinic to get off of the painkillers, but then switched over to Adderall. I got thrown out of the clinic because of it.
I started out doing 60 milligrams a day, but within 3 years, zoomed up to approx. 200 mg a day and have remained there for the past 7 years.
For over a year now, I have been sneaking my girlfriend’s Adderall.
We have been together for two years, and she just recently broke up with me because I finally broke down and told her the truth.
She told me if it happened again, we were done…and I didn’t listen.
I took 4 more…
Like what the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m obviously addicted, as I was able to convince myself that I could get away with taking more knowing full well what the consequences were.
I’ve hurt her…bad.
Finding this site and reading the stories of others I FINALLY feel I’m not alone.
I’ve tried to find other sites but they really didn’t hit the nail on the head as the stories I’ve read here.
I was put on Adderall at age 12… it.CHANGED MY LIFE for the better.
I was finally able to pay attention.
My mom says I came home one day and said, “it’s finally like someone turned on the light”.
That’s exactly how it was.
I took it off and on through school and even into senior year.
Never abused it, and honestly I never even heard of people abusing it!
Growing up, I swore I’d never end up like my dad: hooked up methamphetamine and homeless.
I remember my first year of college: I earned all A’s and B’s, without ever hearing of Adderall.
It wasn’t until I met my friend, who was majoring in premed and had all A’s.
One day, while studying, I complained to him that I couldn’t focus, and he handed me this white pill with blue specks.
He said, “just take it.”
This whole thing is really kind of funny.
See, today should be my first day off of Adderall, but the thought of quitting sent me into a manic rage that kept both my girlfriend and I up until after 3 AM, and I had to wake up to work in the morning at 8:15 AM.
Every single thing that has ever bothered you becomes torturous to be around.
I’ve been off Adderall for over 6 weeks.
I used the drug for almost 20 years.
I started because of severe depression that could not be helped… felt I could feel better.
It did work. It worked great.
I did all my chores, went to work and stayed up as late as I wanted. It made me feel more confident, more friendly, and it let me live life again.
Well, it worked great – until it didn’t .
I started taking Ritalin around 2000.
I liked it, but I did not abuse it.
When it stopped working, I simply stopped it. No problem.
A few years later, I was prescribed Adderall.
Same thing. Once it stopped helping, I stopped it. No problem.
I went back and forth for years, mostly without it.
I wasn’t addicted to it, and found it useless after awhile. Stopped it.
It wasn’t until 2007, that I developed an addiction to Adderall.
“My brother is killing himself with Adderall, and we are pretending like everything is all good.” – Sister2anaddict
My story here is a little different, but I need to vent.
I’ve never taken Adderall, but it scares the living shit out of me because I’ve watched my brother battle this horrific addiction for 10 years – on top of an alcohol addiction.
I knew he had a problem long before anyone knew he had a problem. They didn’t see what I saw.
Yet, I was the mean one, I was a tattle-tail, I was jealous when I tried for years to warn my parents of his problem. They ignored me! For SO LONG!
I tried…. for so so long!
See, when you grow up a certain type of way, these things tend to get swept under the rug because of a certain image people try to maintain.
A child with an addiction would have been an embarrassment. I was told to leave him alone.
Yet, here we are down this road.
Truth of the matter is, I do not know this person whom I speak of, anymore.
Where do I start?
I live month-to-month, waiting for that 30 day mark where I can get a refill.
I run out of Adderall within the first 1-2 weeks, despite getting 1200 mg/month.
I spend that time with little to no sleep and lose complete track of how much I consume.
“Addicted to Adderall, she threatened ‘suicide by cop’. In April, she made good on that promise.” – jonah16
I wish my story was encouraging, but it is not.
My best friend of fifty years became highly addicted to Adderall.
The stresses of being a mother are what first drew me into the clutches of this terrible drug, and it has been a long 18 years battling with my addiction.
When I’m on Adderall, I feel alive and equipped to deal with my daily stressors.
Without it, I am left in utter shambles.
I got prescribed Adderall a little over a year ago.
At first I thought I finally could enjoy life – and I had never been happier.
I was in the best shape of my life.
I met and fell in love with my boyfriend for the first time. I had so much confidence. I thought I would be happy forever.
But then, as months passed, things started getting bad.
I’m 6 months into my addiction, and I’m just now comprehending that it’s not okay.
It started with not being able to make it through a day at work without it, now it’s expanded to not being able to get out of bed without it.
I’ve lost 40 pounds due to my decrease in appetite and on a day that I don’t take adderall, I can’t stop eating.
So I continue to take Adderall so I won’t gain the weight back. It makes me feel too invincible to stop.
I regret the day I first tried it, because ever since then, it’s been slowly drowning me – completely.
You think you can control this drug but it will take control of you from the second you pop that first pill..
The human brain is an amazing thing.
I noticed that once I opened my mind, I became less worried about superficial matters.
I didn’t see judgement, because I had been sub-categorized to it all my life and would not wish to pass such emotion along.
I finally acknowledged my problem and also my purpose.
I quit my job and sold the rest of my script of Adderall.
I knew deep down, there was more to me than what I was allowing myself to feel.
The ancient indigenous teachings (such as Shamanism) are derived from the simplistic teachings of nature. The main goal being to create an internal and external harmony with all creations on our earth.
Channel your transcendental energy to others struggling, as well as yourself.
Knowing you are not alone when you are struggling is a blessing.
You cannot control what other people decide for themselves; however, you CAN control how you influence yourself.
There will be set backs, but please know that if you fuck up one day after getting clean, that DOES NOT mean you have to walk away from the good path you have created for yourself.
Acknowledge the mistake, and get to the root of the real issue.
Everything that you say becomes what you do.
As everything that you do, will come back to you.
Spread the spiritual awakening and become your true self; break down the walls and false illusion society has created.